8 months ago.... 3 years ago...

Dear Brian,

Between yesterday and today, I have not been able to stop thinking about you and how much you have meant to me, and how I loved talking to you and being able to be one of your close friends. Live is not as amazing as it once was and i miss that.I miss you. I miss how you could make me laugh. I miss how you would give me comfort when none was to be found. Brian, I know I need to move on, I know I need to figure out what to do with my life, but I miss you so much. Its been a year since I saw you last. A year since I got to see your bright smile and feel your warm hugs. A year of crazy stuff, some good some not so bad and some horrible. Some good though is I met JUstin and Kelly, I started College, move to Texas and met wonderful friends, and I think I am happier here. We wont go into the bad stuff. :P Brian, I know that you are disappointed in me, I know I am not doing what you would want me to be doing, and I think that that is part of the reason why I feel so bad when I think about you. So here is my promise to you and for anyone who reads this I guess.... I promise to be strong and willing in all that I do. I promise to attened y church meeting and become closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I promise to try my hardest to read and pray daily. This is my promise and if I dont keep it then when I see you again in the Spirit World you can beat me up, deal? I love you and miss you more than I can even explain.

Always Smile,
Love,
Teasha

2 Nephi 9:39

Time that has passed....

Dear Brian,

It has been 19,440,000 seconds since you have been gone. Thats324,000 minutes, 5,400 hours, 225 days, 28 weeks, 7 months. And in that time my life has been a roller coaster. Bri, I miss you so much! I wish all the time that i could just be with you right now, which I know sounds crazy but I do. I keep trying to forget about you because I cant hold on to you and keep moving forward, but no matter what you are with me.

Here is another good song for ya:

Wherever I go:

Here we are now
Everything is about to change
We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday
A chapter ending but the stories only just begun
A page is turning for everyone

So I’m moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding out who I’m gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You’ll be with me wherever I go
Wherever I go

So excited I can barely even catch my breath
We have each other to lean on for the road ahead
This happy ending is the start of all our dreams
And I know your heart is with me

So I’m moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding out who I’m gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You’ll be with me wherever I go

Its time to show the world we’ve got something to say
A song to sing out loud we’ll never fade away
I know I’ll miss you but we’ll meet again someday
We’ll never fade away

So I’m moving on
http://www.elyricsworld.com/wherever_i_go_lyrics_hannah_montana_forever.html
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding out who I’m gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You’ll be with me wherever I go

So I’m moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I’ve always got the memories while I’m finding out who I’m gonna be
We might be apart but I hope you always know
You’ll be with me wherever I go

Wherever, Wherever I go


I need to move on to my new life here in Texas and allow people to be apart of my life, no matter what that means, if I get hurt, if I fall in love, it doesnt matter. I just need to move on and take what I learned from you with me. You are always in my heart and I want to make you proud so from now on starting today, I am going to ealk with faith in every footstep, I am going to go to church willingly, I will read my scripture and pray everyday, because I know thats what I need to do, and my loving Heavenly Father wants me to do it too!

I love you Bri! Keep looking out for me!

Always Smile,
Teasha

Dreams...

Dear Brian,

I had a crazy dream about you last night. It was so real, when I woke up I couldnt help but think that maybe your not gone that you are still here and that I could call you up and talk to you, but then as I came to my reality i realized that you are in fact not here and that I cant hear you sweet voice anymore. I have been ok for the most part with how life is going, until now. This morning has been one of the hardest and I am not sure why. I love and miss you so much. I have found a song that describes somewhat whats going on but not really its calls "Crying for Me" here are the lyrics:

Got the news on Friday morning
But a tear I couldn't find
You showed me how I am supposed to live
Now you showed me how to die
I was lost til Sunday morning
I woke up to face my fear
While writing you this goodbye song I found a tear

I'm gonna miss that smile
I'm gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I'd do it all again

So play it sweet in heaven
Cause thats right where you wanna be
I'm not cryin' cause I feel so sorry for you
Im cryin' for me

I got up and dialed your number
and your voice came on the line
That old familiar message
Ive heard a thousand times
It just said, sorry that I missed you
Leave a message and God bless
I know you think I'm crazy
But I just had to hear your voice, I guess

I'm gonna miss that smile
I'm gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I'd do it all again

So play it sweet in heaven
Cause thats right where you wanna be
I'm not cryin' cause I feel so sorry for ya
Im cryin' for me

Ohhh

So play your upside-down, left handed
Backwards bass guitar
I'll see you on the other side superstar
I'm gonna miss that smile
I'm gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I'd do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
Cause thats right where you wanna be
I'm not cryin' cause I feel so sorry for you
Im cryin' for me

I'm still cryin'
I'm cryin' for me
Oh
I'm still cryin'


So it kinda says how I feel but not really. I have alot of anxiety and I am not sure why, I just want it to go away!!!


I love ya tons Bri! Hope all is well!


Love,
Teasha

6 months...WHAT?!?

Dear Brian,

I can't believe you have been gone for 6 long but yet short months. This has been the longest but yet shortest 6 months of my life. I miss you so much. It isnt getting any easier knowing that you are no longer here with me. I sometimes wish to just be with you and leave this place, not that I would do anything to make that happen but I do wish that I could be with you to hear you laugh to hug you and to just spend time with you. as stupid as they may sound. LIfe is not going the way I had hoped it would. I am supposed to be happy and having a ton of fun being a crazy college student, but rather than that I am always stressed and sad, I hate it. Bri, why does life suck so much sometimes? I just dont understand. It's getting to the point where I dont want to go to church and I am putting my walls up and closing myself off to those around me. And yes I know what we have talked about when it comes to walls, I need to either build a door or make the walls weak enough for people to break through but....I dont think I can do that... Part of it is that i feel like i dont have any close friends here like I did in Arizona. I had you and Michael who I could tell anything to, medical and emotional, here I cant do that and it is really starting to bring me down. School os becoming more and more difficult and I just dont care to do it anymore. I have no motivation to do anything. I know that this is not how you or anyone else for that matter wants me to live bt this is the reality of my life. I didnt even watch all of conference. I felt like crap all weekend, Brian what do I do? I need your help!!!!

Love always,
Teasha

You were there.

Dear Brian,

Life is good for the most part. I had somewhat of a break down on Tuesday because at Institute the question of whats more important church or family came up and as you know I cant answer that question. So after class I broke down, I didn't know what to do, I still don't. Do I go to church and make my family unhappy and fight them every single step of the way? Or do I stop fighting and give into what they want me to do? I know the second one isn't what most people would do but I am sick of fighting them, that's all i have done for the past 8 years is fight with my family about the church. I just dont know what to do.....


So, school is going well except for my History class, I cant seem to stay awake for some reason. I hate it! I love History its one of my favorite subjects and yet i sleep during class soooo annoying!

The boy department isn't really worth talking about.... I know I know, you want stories but I dont really have any for ya, sorry bud.

Anyways I found another song that reminds me of you, its called "You Were There" it's in the movie Simon Birch. Here are the lyrics:

Time passes, the world changes
But I'm still the same ole' kid
And your jokes still bring me laughter
As if you still were here
And it hurts
When I smile
'Cause my heart still remembers
When you were around

'Cause you were there
When no one was
Just when I thought nobody cared
You showed me love
'Cause you were my friend
You always told me
And I am still here
Because you were there

So precious, small treasures
A time when truth was innocent
True friendship, was all we were after
A place where kids could still be kids
And it hurts
But I'm glad
'Cause at least I was blessed
To have you as my friend

'Cause you were there
When no one was
Just when I thought nobody cared
You showed me love
'Cause you were my friend
You always told me
And I am still here
Because you were there

You're my best friend
And there are no accidents
God has a pland for everyone
And he brought you in my life
To show me what a true friend was

'Cause you were there
When no one was
Just when I thought nobody cared
You showed me love
'Cause you were my friend
You always told me
And I am still here
Because you were there

This song is so true, every joke that was made, every time we laughed every time we cried ever time we hund out is still a vivid memory and I can bring it to mind when ever i choose to which bring me such joy. I miss ya buddy! Life just doesnt seem the same without you here to talk to every night. I know I should move on and what not but it is so hard. You were my best friend and no one comes close to filling those shoes, and its not that I am not letting people, its that no one can do it at least not anyone I have met yet, unless they are hiding who they really are. I think about you almost daily and cant help but wish you were here. I love you Bri! I hope you always remember that. Without you coming into my life I wouldnt be who I am today, and I thank HEavenly Father daily for bring you into my life. Things dont just happen Hevenly FAther has a plan for all of us and I see that now. Because you opened my eye to it! LOve ya more then anyone will ever be able to understand.


Always Smile!
Love,
Teasha

5 months, and fitting songs.

Dear Brian,

Oh my how the past 5 months have flown by! I miss you so very much and I catch myself thinking of you all the time. I want to go back to Thanksgiving 2009 and just relive it over and over again.

So on Monday morning, I was sitting in bed doing homework listing to GAC, Great American Country, when the song I will not say Goodbye came on. I listened to it then hoped on my computer as fast as I could. These are the Lyrics:

Sometimes the road just ends
It changes everything you've been
And all that's left to be
Is empty, broken, lonely, hopin'
I'm supposed to be strong
I'm supposed to find a way to carry on

I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye

They keep saying time will heal
But the pain just gets more real
The sun comes up each day
Finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying
If I can keep on holding on
Maybe I can keep my heart from knowing that you're gone

I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye

I will curse
I will pray
I'll relive everyday
I will shoulder the blame
I'll shout out your name

I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say
Will not say goodbye
Will not say goodbye
Will not say
ooooohhhhh

I heard it and my heart just sank. It was the 5 month anniversary of your death and this song fits how sooooo many of us are feeling about your passing. I just broke in to tears and posted it on facebook. Your mom saw it and commented. You will never know how loved and miss you truly are.

I cant stop listing to the song! I have it on repeat. It makes me feel closer to you which i know sounds crazy but its true. Brian, I know its not your fault and you fought as hard as you could but why did you have to leave? You were one of the only good things in my life. I love you and you just left. I didnt even get to say goodbye..... I wish you were here to talk to to laugh with and to hud and to spend tie with, I dont know what to do.... please help...

On a happier note I started College!!! I know right! I never thought I would be old enough to go to college, when I was little this seemed like it was so far away and now it here and its CRAZY!

Here is more about my classes:

Love my Study Skills teacher. He is sooo funny. He makes learning fun and worth while. If your wondering what study skills is, its a class to help you better transition from high school into college.

Gosh I hate math! It is the worst subject ever invented! My teacher does an amazing job but I just hate math! Who ever came up with it should die....oh wait! they probably are dead...and if they arent they are super old and thats kinda gross!

English! Oh how i love this class! I get to write whatever I want its amazing! And my teacher is a ton of fun!

History... I love this subject but I have only been to class once so... yeah nothing really to say about yet!


I wish you were here for me to talk to, I miss my best friend. I feel like I have no one to talk to anymore, yes i know I have Mia and someothers but talking to them will never be like talking to you, you understood me for who i am inside and out and no one else has yet to be able to do that.

Anyways, its time for class. I love ya!


Always Smile,
Love,
Always and Forever,
Teasha

Remembering, Laughing, and Going On....

Dear Brian,

So lately I cant stop thinking about all the good times we shared together. I cant not think about how much we used to laugh with and at each other. As time goes on and you become more of a memory then anything I am able to laugh more and more about all the fun times we had together. Its not easy to think that you're not here to laugh with but it is becoming a little bit easier. can now make jokes that I know you would laugh at too. it is making it so much easier to be able to go on with my life. You still mean the world to me, but i think its time for me to go forward with my life. I am going to try to open up again and see what happens. I am going to closes my eyes and take a leap of faith.

I love you more then words can say. <3

Always Smile,
Teasha

4 months...

This picture was the last time I saw Brian.

Dear Brian,

Can you believe that you have been gone for 4 months?!?!? My goodness! How times flys! I mean that every day, hour, minute and second seem to drag on but the last 4 month just went by in the blink on an eye. I remember talking to you about everything, you knew me inside and out. I miss you bossing me around like we had known each other for forever and that you always knew best. Wow! I miss you more then I thought I would.

I found a song a couple of weeks ago and it reminded me of us. It called Tonight by FM Static. I mean we only went on one drive because we only saw each other twice but still. I dont know if you know the song so here are the lyrics:

FM STATIC LYRICS
"Tonight"
Send "Tonight" Ringtone to your Cell
I remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

Every time I look up at the sky I think of you and when we said we were goin to fly to the moon together. Sometime I think you are up there waiting for me with a great big smile.

Bri, thank you so much for your testimony, and thank you for always sharing it with me. I know that when we got into deep spiritual talks I tended to get really quiet but I was always listening, you have helped me with my testimony so much. You never did let me fall. You were and still are my best friend. I hope all is well. Till next time. Love you Bri!

Love,
Tea

Life goes on..........or does it?

Dear Brian,

I know you are probably looking down on me saying, "Teasha, life goes on. Keep living your life and move on and be happy." But I cant seem to do it. You were such an amazing person to me that I compare everyone to you. No one can every amount to what you became to me. You in my eyes were prefect> You never saw the bad even when I did. You were selfless when you should have been selfish, and I can't move on from that I have tried! It's been almost 4 months now, and I cant believe it. Sometimes its like you never were in my life and other it seems like you never left it. I know you want me to be happy and move on but I can't. Brian, you are the only reason I made it through 2009. You showed me the parts of myself that i kept hidden and didn't want anyone to see, why did you have to leave? Its making this so much harder. I feel like since you didnt get to do some of the things that I am doing that I shouldn't be able to live these experiences either. I know that it no way to live but I don't on how to live anymore. I put up fake front so people wont realize that I am in so much pain but as we both know my walls are going to fall and everyone will know the truth... I simply just dont know how to move forward.


Love,
Teasha

Birthday...

Dear Brian,

Yesterday was a good day but I wish you were there! It was my 19th Birthday! I got to go to see world and have a fun time there! I feed dolphins, see Shamu, go on a roller coaster, and so much more.

Life here in Texas is kinda crazy! I know others may read this but I dont care. Boys are everywhere! every corner I turn a new one likes me or thinks I am cute or wants to date me! It's starting to scare me!

Bri, your becomin a dream to me. Sometimes I think that you are just someone my brain thought up one day and that you never really existed. I wish you were still here. I miss you laugh and smile and how up lifting you always were no matter what. I need your warm loving hugs! Oh how i wish you were still here! I miss our late night phone calls and making fun of eachother and you tellin me i should move to Utah so we could date. Can we go back to thoes days? They seemed so much easier.

I miss you so much! I hope all is well with you! Keep smiling! And let me know you are having a good mission! Love and miss you Bri!


Love always,
Teasha

Thoughts...

Dear Brian,

I have recently been thinking alot about you and life and how you saw the worl and it has given me new isight into life. I keep thinkin of you and how things could have been different, or what would be different if I had graduated on time, or what I would be doin if I didnt move to Texas. Then I realize, why does any of it really matter? I cant change anything, whats happened has happened. I need to take everything peice of advice from you and actually apply it to my life. Wouldnt that be amazing? So thats what I am tryin to do. You said "The right thing never was easy...Chin up! You are doing great, don't let them tell you right and wrong, judge for yourself and follow your heart." So thats what I am goin to do. I dont know what I want to do with my life as you know, I have a long list of what I want to do. But I am just goin to follow my heart and do what feels right for me. Thanks for being such an amazing example Bri! I love you!


Teasha

Excited!

Dear Brian,

Guess what! Guess what! Guess what! I get to meet Justin and Kelly on Friday, if they can get work off! Isn't that amazing! I am so excited, the only thing that could make it better is for you to be there. I will only be able to have lunch with them and some long lost family but still I get to meet them! Oh! Heeheehee! So yeah uh Justin I were engaged for about a weekish, it was fun! :p

I miss you so much Bri! Hope you are havin fun!


Teasha

Blarg!

Brian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh how much i miss you! I tried texting you the other day, yeah it didn't really work. Why didnt you tell me you wanted me in Utah?!? GR face! You know I would have been there in a heart beat if you would have told me. :P Anyways, Life is goin good. I am all signed up and ready to register for classes, crazy i know! I am growing up, I never thought this would happen! I have determined that I need you here so i can complain about all of my boy problems to you and so you cant make jokes about us dating. :P I miss talking to you till 11 or whatever time you and Justin madeit as you have to be in bed or you get punched. :P Love you mucho!


Always thinkin of you!
Teasha

Hard Times....

Dear Brian,

I have been thinking about you a lot lately. You seem to always be on my mind and I am not quite sure why. But I wanted to tell you something. I wanted to tell you that you are the only true hero I have ever known. You went through so much and yet you smiled and laughed and lived life like there was nothing wrong with you. You gave hope to those who had none, you were a light in the darkness, you were a warm safe hug when needed. And yet you were going through so much crap yourself, how did you do it? How did you live such an inspiring life and how where you so positive through all that came your way? I try my best to be as strong as I can but I am not as strong as you showed everyone you came in contact with that you were. You had such a strong testimony of the church. You had unfailing faith that you where in the hand of God, and that he would protect you no matter what. How did you trust him that much? How, how? I cannot fathom this. I try to trust him, but I cant. I try to believe that the church is true but I have my doubts. I have not gone throught nearly as much as you, but you knew it was true, so why dont I?

-Teasha

Two Months...

Dear Brian,

Wow, It been to months since you passed, I cant believe it. When I look back and see what has happened in the past 2 months it amazes me. I went from having no friends here, to having amazing people that I love as friends. I added Justin on facebook, and we have become pretty close. I got a good car that has an air bag, sorry Bri I know how much you loved the Saturn, but it had to go. I have signed up for college. I have in a way become more of a grown up then I was before, I know me grown up heeheehee. No but seriously, the past 2 months I have changed more then I think I have in my entire life. I have told people things that, I have not eve told you. Like some of my friend know that I have Bi-polar depression. I know I never told you, but you where goin through so much and you didn't need another thing to worry about so I just wanted to keep it to myself. I have told people about no being able to have kids and the long story behind that. But the one thing I still have problems telling them about is...You. I have a picture of you as my desk top background and i have your quotes up in my room and when people ask me who you are all i can say is "A dear friend." I cant tell them how amazing I think you are, and all the crap you have gone through and how much I loved you. When I do try to tell them I become speechless and cant find where to begin.

brian, I miss you everyday, I keep thinking that the more I get to know the people here the more the whole where you were will get filled but it isn't happening. I sometimes think that the some I talk to Justin that the whole will get fixed but thats not happening either. I dont know if it will ever get filled to be honest. But I keep trying because I know you wouldnt want me or anyone else to be unhappy. You would want this time of grief to be as short as possible. You would want us to keep moving forward, and not forget you but only remember the happy memories, so thats what I keep trying to do. I love you Brian, I hope you are having an amazing time on your mission.


Love,
Tea

Thank You.

Dear Brian,

I wanted to say thank you for being not only my friend but Justins as well. If you had never extended that hand of friendship to both of us then Justin and I would not be friends. Justin and I have become really close friends, which makes sense since he is your clone. :P Justin and I talk almost everyday now and I am tryin to plan a trip out to Utah so I can meet him, and see your grave. It was funny the other Justin and I were talkin and he said he was goin to hitch hike all the way here. :P It made me laugh. I wish that you were here to be apart of the fun, but I know you are in a much better and well deserved place. You have no idea how much you are love by Justin and myself, keep smiling Bri, and always remeber we love you. :D <3


Teasha :)

Good times!

Dear Brian,

Oh how I wish I could just call you up to tell you how amazing everything is going here in Texas! I am loving it! I got to spend all of yesterday hanging out with some pretty amazing people! It was my friend Jenna's birthday and we went to the Blue Bell Creamery! It was so much fun! We took a tour of the building then went to down town Brenham and took pictures and just hung out! Gosh I wish you were here! So guess what! I graduate tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay me! I wont be there for the ceremony but I still graduate! It seems like just yesterday I was telling you that i wasnt going to graduate with the class of 2009....where did the time go???? Anyways, I have been talkin to your mom a bit it has been really nice! She is so sweet! Thank you for allowing me to be your friend Bri! You have impacted me more than you will ever know!!!!

Love ya,
Teasha

Sorry...

Dear Brian,

I know I have not written you in a long time and I am sorry about that. But I wanted to let you know how much I love and miss you. You are an amazing person that I will never forget. The other day I was swimming and there was a storm and it reminded me of you. :) I even smiled up at the sky hoping you could see it. And yesterday i was running, and the song changed on my ipod and it was Stand by Rascal Flatts, I new you were there. I know you are watching out for me, I know you are there when I need to talk. Just like how you said you could feel your granpa sometimes when you were having a hard time, I feel you. Thank you for always being my constant reminder of how i should be living. I love you with my whole heart.


Teasha

*sigh*

Dear Brian,

Life is...well...good. I am happy. I am content with how my life is right now. That doesnt mean I dont miss you cuz i do, but I am truly happy. I dont know when I was able to say that and actually mean it. :D Justin and I are becoming closer as we talk more, he is really funny! His sense of humor reminds me of your, which would make sense if he is your clone. ;) So things are interesting here in Texas, but I am loving it! I have sooo many new friends, not going to lie most of them are guys, but that makes life more fun! I hope you are doin well love ya tons Bri!


Love,
Teasha

Highs and Lows.

Dear Brian,

It seems like since you passed i have been on this emotional roller coaster. I will be ok for awhile but then something sad happens and I want to just fall apart. I dont know why but I cant seem to keep up my smile it always turns to a frown. I went to call you today just because I needed to hear your voice, and it was disconnected. This sent me into a low. I just started to ball. I wish I could be happy and keep they happy memories and move on because I know that's what you would want, but I cant seem to do that. Brian, its so hard. The cancer in my eye might be back again and your not here for me to talk to. I dont know what to do. I am not mad at you or anything but I wish you were here you would know what to say unlike everyone else. Please help me through this.
I love ya tons!


Love,
Teasha

Who do I turn to now?

Dear Brian,

I feel like I have no one to turn to. The people I would usually turn to are either on missions, passed away, or isn't talking to me. Which is making this harder. Its not just your death I am talking about either, do you remember me telling you about the dark tissue in my eye, that might be cancer? Of course you, well it came back recently, and as of right now I don't have a doctor. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to. You and Michael are both gone and the 2 of you is who I would look to for comfort. I know I can pray but I need someone on earth that can help as well. I feel alone in this big world and I don't know what to do. I am not as strong as you are. If it turns out to be cancer I don't know what i will do. I might just fall apart completely. Gosh, I miss you soooo much. I wish I could call you and talk to you, I have called your phone and listened to your voice mail, but its not the same. I didn't think I would miss you this much. I also never thought we were ever going to be as close as we ended up. I am so glad we met that fateful night be coincidence, yay for both of us loving to swim right? Love ya Bri, talk to you later. :) <3

Love,
Teasha

Funny Story!

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Dear Brian,

So today was a really funny day, in my opinion. So I remember you telling me stories about you and Justin so after I heard about your death, I decided to add him as a friend on facebook because I knew this was going to be hard for him as well, so I added him and he accepted my friend request. Since then we have talked a bit and we even played the question game a bit. Well today we texted a little bit, then I went back to my painting, well my phone started to ring and since Amelia has been calling a lot lately I thought it was her but when I looked at my phone it was Justin. I thought this was odd because we had never talked on the phone before, but I answered it. It turns out he didn’t mean to call me but to call his favorite cousin. We talked for a couple mins then he had to go. But it was a fun conversation. Thank you for telling me stories about Justin, I am trying to make it up to Utah some time soon hopefully and I can’t wait to meet him, I only wish you could be there! But we will stop by your gave site. Love and miss you Bri!


Love,
Teasha

Why?

Dear Brian,

Why does it hurt so much to know that you are gone? Why must I feel this pain? People say I am over reacting and that I didnt even know you that well, I dont think thats true. We talked a lot, almost every night last semester, why dont people understand? You were one of my best friends, I miss you. I cry every night still. Are you doin ok? Are you better now? is the paint gone? I hope one day I will become numb to this pain but until then I will continue to hurt.

Love,
Tea

Calling in my Ward.

Dear Brian,

Today I waa set apart as Ward Choir Director! Crazy i know! I am so new to the ward and didn't think that I was going to get a calling that quick. But I guess in a Student Ward it is different. I am so excited about this calling! I have been looking at songs and printing out music that I find! I can't wait to hear the choir sing for the first time! Other than that things are going very well. I painted the house and I am getting settled in quite well here. I miss you though, I wish I could say that as time goes on things are getting better but it seems like since you passed things have gotten more hard. I will continue to walk with faith in every footstep because that is what you would want. You have taught me so much and I will forever be grateful to you. i can't wait to tell you more about whats goin on here! Love and miss ya tons!

Love,
Tea