Oh my how the past 5 months have flown by! I miss you so very much and I catch myself thinking of you all the time. I want to go back to Thanksgiving 2009 and just relive it over and over again.
So on Monday morning, I was sitting in bed doing homework listing to GAC, Great American Country, when the song I will not say Goodbye came on. I listened to it then hoped on my computer as fast as I could. These are the Lyrics:
Sometimes the road just ends
It changes everything you've been
And all that's left to be
Is empty, broken, lonely, hopin'
I'm supposed to be strong
I'm supposed to find a way to carry on
I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye
They keep saying time will heal
But the pain just gets more real
The sun comes up each day
Finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying
If I can keep on holding on
Maybe I can keep my heart from knowing that you're gone
I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye
I will curse
I will pray
I'll relive everyday
I will shoulder the blame
I'll shout out your name
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say
Will not say goodbye
Will not say goodbye
Will not say
ooooohhhhh
I heard it and my heart just sank. It was the 5 month anniversary of your death and this song fits how sooooo many of us are feeling about your passing. I just broke in to tears and posted it on facebook. Your mom saw it and commented. You will never know how loved and miss you truly are.
I cant stop listing to the song! I have it on repeat. It makes me feel closer to you which i know sounds crazy but its true. Brian, I know its not your fault and you fought as hard as you could but why did you have to leave? You were one of the only good things in my life. I love you and you just left. I didnt even get to say goodbye..... I wish you were here to talk to to laugh with and to hud and to spend tie with, I dont know what to do.... please help...
On a happier note I started College!!! I know right! I never thought I would be old enough to go to college, when I was little this seemed like it was so far away and now it here and its CRAZY!
Here is more about my classes:
Love my Study Skills teacher. He is sooo funny. He makes learning fun and worth while. If your wondering what study skills is, its a class to help you better transition from high school into college.
Gosh I hate math! It is the worst subject ever invented! My teacher does an amazing job but I just hate math! Who ever came up with it should die....oh wait! they probably are dead...and if they arent they are super old and thats kinda gross!
English! Oh how i love this class! I get to write whatever I want its amazing! And my teacher is a ton of fun!
History... I love this subject but I have only been to class once so... yeah nothing really to say about yet!
I wish you were here for me to talk to, I miss my best friend. I feel like I have no one to talk to anymore, yes i know I have Mia and someothers but talking to them will never be like talking to you, you understood me for who i am inside and out and no one else has yet to be able to do that.
Anyways, its time for class. I love ya!
Always Smile,
Love,
Always and Forever,
Teasha
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