Dear Brian,
I can't believe you have been gone for 6 long but yet short months. This has been the longest but yet shortest 6 months of my life. I miss you so much. It isnt getting any easier knowing that you are no longer here with me. I sometimes wish to just be with you and leave this place, not that I would do anything to make that happen but I do wish that I could be with you to hear you laugh to hug you and to just spend time with you. as stupid as they may sound. LIfe is not going the way I had hoped it would. I am supposed to be happy and having a ton of fun being a crazy college student, but rather than that I am always stressed and sad, I hate it. Bri, why does life suck so much sometimes? I just dont understand. It's getting to the point where I dont want to go to church and I am putting my walls up and closing myself off to those around me. And yes I know what we have talked about when it comes to walls, I need to either build a door or make the walls weak enough for people to break through but....I dont think I can do that... Part of it is that i feel like i dont have any close friends here like I did in Arizona. I had you and Michael who I could tell anything to, medical and emotional, here I cant do that and it is really starting to bring me down. School os becoming more and more difficult and I just dont care to do it anymore. I have no motivation to do anything. I know that this is not how you or anyone else for that matter wants me to live bt this is the reality of my life. I didnt even watch all of conference. I felt like crap all weekend, Brian what do I do? I need your help!!!!
Love always,
Teasha
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